The Happy Meal Syndrome

     How many times, and in how many varied venues, has the Happy Meal Syndrome (HAMS) been experienced? Too many to count! Happy Meals entered into American culture June, 1979, just 10 months prior to the birth of our first child. Our son was introduced to the meal at a young age. Here is the repeated experience we had with Happy Meals:

• Our son pleads for a Happy Meal, and we buy him one. The excitement piques our son's senses, like a bungee jump rush, with adrenaline that dynamically detonates
• The colorful box, special toy, and princely meal delights him. Maybe he feels way, TOO special?
• After about 20 minutes of heightened senses and eating (our McD's had no playground), our parental heads-up begins: We'll be leaving in (tick-tock) 10 minutes... 5 minutes, etc.
• At departure, he experiences deer-in-the-headlights delirium. He wants MORE!

     This scenario created unbearable backlash and nay-ing. Symptoms included spooked, egocentric, bucking-the-parents frenzy. We may have over-responded, but official Happy Meal purchases ceased; we dreaded the un-happy outcome. A burger and fries with no colorful box and no toy sufficed.

     The Happy Meal Syndrome begins when one feels de-stabilized, with hijacked sensory processing. It can occur following a (positive) adrenaline-filled event--feeling hyper-important and wanting MORE; or, it can occur during a (negative) flight-or-fight, fearful situation--feeling helpless and wanting CONTROL. A Sunday 5:00 p.m. flat tire, leaving two women stranded, miles from home, on a busy highway, combined with soon-approaching darkness definitely brings out fight-or-flight.

     In retrospect, I see that our parental responsibility was not to altogether omit the Happy Meal experience. We instead needed to teach awareness of the signs... of early piqued sensory stimulation and triggers. We many times referred to Dr. Dobson's, The Strong-Willed Child, reading it cover-to-cover. It helped for setting boundaries, but oh, to have had the enlightening Internet. Our boy somehow survived and is now a man with true character.

     The inspiring movie Secretariat portrays a calming HAMS moment. Leading into the poignant conclusion, Secretariat owner Penny Tweedy nervously awaits the next morning's Triple Crown Race. She meets with her adored stallion, lovingly stroking his mane. Horses have a keen sense for their handler's emotions and can easily become spooked. Races can be won or lost on the spook-factor. Tweedy knows this, and rather than conveying to Secretariat her desire for him to win, Tweedy speaks the unforgettable, reassuring, calming line (learned from her late, very wise father): I didn't give up... I've already won!... I've run my race, now you run yours.

     Tweedy expresses her faith in Secretariat, no matter the outcome. The race is already won for her, in intangible, others-ways.