Top-10 Reasons Why Babies Teethe, OR, Why Newborns are Toothless

     To all mothers with dark circles and droopy eyelids, a question to ponder at 2:00 a.m. Have you ever wondered why babies experience painful teething? Why did God create newborns toothless and primed for pain?

     The top-10 "imagine a world with toothed newborns" list:

• 10- Pregnancies would last 12 months, or longer, to develop those choppers. Imagine the stretch marks and spider veins
• #9- Womb acrobatics would multiply due to in-utero teething escapades
• #8- Pregnant women would have two fears: 1) labor and 2) midnight womb shark bites
• #7- Umbilical cords could be bitten off in the womb. Some curious fetuses would figure out how!
• #6- Newborns would need the coochy-coo warning: Biting risk
• #5- Newborns might need dental specialists, $$$$
• #4- Hazardous bites could happen to weary, nursing new moms
• #3- Busy babies and toddlers would require less cuddle time. Noooo!
• #2- Special bonding time for patient Mommys and Daddys could decrease, because babies and independent toddlers would have fewer urgent needs. (Bonding is tiring, but priceless.)

• #1- For some reason Baby Freddy Krueger and crazy-cray bats come to mind. 

     Maybe scary bats were created by God as a vivid reminder to weary new Moms and Dads: Newborns are simply cuter toothless!